Prayers answered.

is he in an assisted living facility?

No, he lives with my stepmom, who is fiercely trying to keep him with her. But she still works and can't be home all the time.

We have some hard decisions ahead.

Answered prayers that he is safe. I cant imagine how scary that was.
Sending you hugs.

today could have ended up very differently. I don't think her good intentions would want something bad to happen. Live in hope care folks are not cheap and assisted living facilities are not cheap either. no good answers.

I am so glad that he is home and unharmed. I can imagine how terrified you were, because I've been there. Many people with dementia, my late husband included, seek a return to the familiar late in the progression of the disease. In his case he would announce that he had to go home (his childhood home in Detroit) and I had various ruses to keep him safe in our house. PM me if you want to talk further, or hear about options for assistance. I send you peace and peace of mind. This is rough.

Thank you all for your suggestions, prayers and good wishes. I am blessed to be part of this community.

I learned in a PM that there is a GPS tracking device for humans, which makes sense, since I have one for my dog, so I will be looking into that.

Mummydog, thank you for your offer to talk about resources and your experience. I've no doubt that I will need to ask you some questions, in the future. I'm sorry you've experienced this with your husband.

As I told someone in a PM, dementia is a family trait, of sorts, on my Dad's side, and I cared for my grandmother as she went through it. It is probably just a matter of time before I am affected, but the good news is, that with each generation, dementia has appeared later, than in the previous generations.

Jo, thank you for the hug. I'm sending one right back to you.

I am so very grateful for all of you.

My mother-in-law often thought we were at her cabin in the mountains and would constantly ask to go home. During the Christmas season, when we would decorate, thinking it would help and cheer her, it worked the opposite way. She then would call our home "the holiday house" and always want to go "home". We had to take and hide all the keys, and eventually keep the doors dead bolted from the inside at times because she'd try to leave so often. She was completely mobile and FAST! We'd turn around and she'd be outside. In the final years, we mostly stopped decorating because of the effects it had.

I remember when the first hospital installed a "fake bus stop" in Germany 8 years ago. It has worked so well, it is spreading across Europe

http://www.iacp.org/Fake-Bus-Stops-For- ... in-Germany


To listen to a wonderful story about this, here... you can click on link and let it play while you do other stuff, it is so worth listening to. the theory is to work WITH the dementia instead of trying to CONTROL it and the person that has it.

http://www.radiolab.org/story/121385-bus-nowhere/

Thanks for posting the bus stop story. I have heard of that; its really an interesting approach.

We did try to work with the dementia as best we could. We also had to deal with Sundowner's syndrome, which complicated matters so much during certain times of the day. Ultimately, we found it best to take her out for walks once or twice a day during the sunnier part of the day, created routines that engaged her in something she could understand especially during the grayer parts of the days, and always made sure she was given something to drink at least once an hour and small snacks several times a day so she wouldn't have to go looking for food or drink. We tried to stick to a pretty firm daily routine in general because it seemed to make things go easier and she would recognize the house from outside while on the walks and want to go home. When we would eventually have to lock the doors in late afternoon for a couple hours, she would go to the door, realize it was locked and go do something else, because the locked door was just the signal that she should stay in for the evening. It did work pretty well. It didn't cause panic with her. Every person afflicted with this miserable disease is different though.

We had also been told that if she got out unsupervised too much and the police had to be called, we could be forced to put her in a facility, and that was the last thing we wanted.

After all this time? You must be relieved beyond words! Your family does have tough decisions in your future.

My main concern with Mom was what she might do if left alone. She wasn't a "flight risk" once I hid her car keys (in fact, I hid them so well it was weeks before I could find them again!). The GPS tracker sounds like a real winner, though.